You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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