Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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