walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
