I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
