I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
