The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
