She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize