whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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