She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
