How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize