Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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