I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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