Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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