so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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