I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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