Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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