Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
