Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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