You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize