Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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