And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize