Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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