Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize