well you can't waste a boner
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
