would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
