Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize