I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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