I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
