please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
