Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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