and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
