dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
