We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
