yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
