SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
