After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
