I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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