I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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