Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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