Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
