Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Even my vagina gasped.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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