One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
