Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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