i think my mom watched the whole time
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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