the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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