the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
