WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
