Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize