You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
