Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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