also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize