Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
