If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
home. puking in laundry basket.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
