I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
