There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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