Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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