he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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