Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
