how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im six kinds of drunk right now
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
