Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
