Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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