Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
