U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
