i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
