Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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