Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
