K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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