So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize