shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
