You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Randomize
